Why Valentine’s Day Triggers More Anxiety Than Joy — and What Tarot Teaches Us About Real Love
Every February, something strange happens. As red hearts flood our screens and couples pose with overpriced roses, many people quietly feel… uneasy. I’ve had clients tell me, “I don’t know why, but Valentine’s Day makes me anxious.” And honestly? That reaction is far more common than we admit.
Valentine’s Day sells a specific fantasy of love—grand gestures, constant romance, and perfect partners. If your life doesn’t match that highlight reel, it’s easy to feel like you’re falling behind. Singles wonder, “What’s wrong with me?”Couples question, “Why doesn’t my relationship look like that?” Even happy relationships can feel pressured to perform.
I once read cards for a woman who was in a stable, loving marriage. Still, she felt disappointed every Valentine’s Day because her husband wasn’t the “romantic type.” As we spoke, it became clear that the issue wasn’t love, but it was her expectation. She had unconsciously absorbed a romantic idea that didn’t reflect her real life.
This is where Tarot offers a refreshingly honest perspective.
Tarot doesn’t promise fairy tales. It talks about love as it actually unfolds: messy, evolving, sometimes uncomfortable, but deeply meaningful. The cards often remind us that real love isn’t constant fireworks; it’s trust, emotional safety, and growth.
Think about how often Tarot points us inward. Instead of asking, “Who will love me?” it nudges us to ask, “How do I treat myself?” or “What patterns am I repeating?” Many love readings aren’t about finding someone new—they’re about unlearning old wounds.
I remember a young lady who desperately wanted a Valentine’s proposal. Her cards, however, kept highlighting self-worth and boundaries. Months later, she told me she had ended a draining relationship and finally felt peaceful. “For the first time,” she said, “I didn’t feel lonely on Valentine’s Day.”
That’s the lesson Tarot keeps repeating: real love starts with clarity, not illusion. It’s not about being chosen for one day—it’s about choosing yourself every day.
My dear readers, if Valentine’s Day triggers anxiety this year, pause. Ask yourself what kind of love you actually want—not what’s being marketed to you. Tarot reminds us that love isn’t loud or performative. Often, it’s quiet, grounding, and deeply real, and that is the kind of love that is worth waiting for.
“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.” — Eden Ahbez
Written by Maanya Kohli, one of India’s most trusted Tarot readers and founder of Lady of Tarot.
